(CNN)We
have all had the experience of being gagged by the "like" button on
Facebook. As we scroll through our news feed, we sometimes come across
stories that trigger loathing, sadness or even rage. But all we have is a
like button. Sure, we can write a long message in the comment field.
But there is no button to instantly express negative emotions.
Andre Spicer
That
is about to change. Facebook has announced it will create a "dislike
button." Only last year, Mark Zuckerberg said, "Some people have asked
for a dislike button because they want to be able to say 'that thing
isn't good,' and we're not going to do that ... I don't think that's
socially very valuable, or great for the community."
Now, Zuckerberg has admitted that "not every moment is good" and perhaps a dislike button isn't such a bad idea after all.
Zuckerberg may have changed his mind, but many other people have not. Some think the dislike button will toxify relationships. Others fear it will fuel bullying and other kinds of aggressive behavior online. But the biggest worry is the button will "actively foster negativity."
It
seems we have become so fragile that any sign of negativity -- even a
simple thumbs down on a social media website -- is something that must
be avoided at all costs. All we want is a constant stream of thumbs up.
The slightest sign someone might disagree with us is enough to send us
into an emotional tailspin.
One
of the most insidious ideas of our time is positive thinking. It's
drilled into many of us: think positive, don't think negative. It's no
wonder people find the prospect of the dislike button so worrisome.
People
are constantly told to be upbeat, even in the face of horrible
situations. Sick people are told to stay positive and think about their
illness as a "gift." The unemployed are advised to ban all negative
words (like "unemployed") and even stop reading the news (too much
negativity there). When an entrepreneur fails, he is told to see it as
"step forward." And of course we can only "like" things on Facebook.
Being positive certainly comes with benefits. But research is starting to reveal that all this upbeat thinking has some big downsides.
When we are unable to express negative feelings, many human emotions
become off limits. We avoid taking a realistic look at problems, which
means we overlook risks and do stupid things. Those who don't feel on
top of the world start to think there is something seriously wrong with
them. Those in an upbeat mood tend to be more selfish and feel more
socially disconnected. What is even more surprising is that people told
to think positively often end up feeling worse.
As we start to recognize the limits of always looking on the bright side, negative thinking is making a comeback.
It's
not just Facebook that will allow you to dislike things. Some companies
have started to support their employees in pointing out problems. One
particularly interesting method that firms are using to avoid the
mistakes made by our bias toward positive thinking is the "pre-mortem."
It
works like this: When we begin a project we largely focus on the bright
side. As a result, we think the project will take half as long and cost
half as much as it actually does. By doing a pre-mortem, we try to
think as negatively as possible and identify anything that might go
wrong. When people engage in this kind of negative thinking, they tend
to spot flaws and fix them before they become a problem.
Maybe,
if used well, the "dislike" button could become a kind of early warning
system in our own lives. It will allow us to see where we are going
wrong, think a little more realistically, and avoid being blinded by our
own optimism.
Living with the thumbs
down will be tough. We may get upset, be disturbed and sometimes feel
gloomy. Excessive negativity can easily become bullying. But having a
space to share our negative feelings every now and then can help us own
up to the many problems that we face, and hopefully, deal with them in a
levelheaded way.
No comments:
Post a Comment