I never knew I could cope with an actor — Obi Madubogwu’s wife

Veteran Nollywood actor and producer, Obi Madubogwu, is married to a lawyer, Uju. They share their love story

How did you meet your wife?

Obi: I met her at her course mate’s wedding which also fell on her birthday. She was studying Law at University of Lagos at the time. I made several attempts to strike a conversation with her but she called my bluff. When she eventually granted me audience,I introduced myself as an actor but she said she did not know who I was because she was not keen about home videos. We exchanged phone numbers; back then there were landlines and not mobile phones.

When did you decide to marry her?

Obi: Before I met her, I had already made up my mind to get married and I knew the kind of woman I wanted. I met her at the right time and I knew she was the one. When you meet your wife, you will definitely know, she would be different from other women you might have dated.

What were the initial attractions?

Obi: I liked her complexion and still do. Also, she looked shy and calm. I liked her eyes too. I needed someone that could manage my anger because I am short-tempered. On the other hand, I did not want a wife who was too quiet because you do might be unable to deduce when she is angry. I was not comfortable with her quiet nature until I got her angered her on a certain day and she decided not to visit me again.

Why did you stop visiting him?

Uju: My personality is such that when I do not like anybody, I avoid them. It was not a stunt. I was young then and in my second year at the university. I did not want him to get upset, so I avoided him for a while and made up with him lafter on.

You eventually made up with him?

Uju: He was persistent although I kept turning him down. He was and still is outspoken and a bit quiet. I wanted someone that would speak up for me or fight for me. He is a go-getter and knows what he wants in life. I was not looking for a millionaire to marry and I saw the fighting spirit in him.

How long did you courtship last?

Obi: We courted for six months before we got married. My late mentor told me that , “ A woman is like a script; the longer you date her, the longer you see her faults. If the concept is good, go ahead to shoot the film.”

Uju: Some people might think it is short but some men even propose a day after they meet their wives. My sister is an example. Her husband told me he wanted to marry her a day after they met. They met August last year and got married in December. I thought my courtship was short, but hers is shorter. When a woman is ready and the man is mature, they can get married. We have been together for almost 15 years, whereas some people date for six years and get divorced after two years of marriage. It is all about endurance, patience and understanding.

Were you discouraged when you found out that he was an actor?

Uju: When he approached me the first time, I did not know he was an actor. I started watching movies after we met. As a shy person, I tried to avoid him because I did not know I could cope with an actor but the story is different now.

Were your parents against your decision to get married?

Uju: My dad was fine with my decision, as long as I was happy, but my mum wanted me to finish schooling and go to law school before marriage. She thought I was too young to get married. Also, I was her ‘pillar of help’ at home and she did not want me to leave quite early. But, they are best of friends now.

What were your initial challenges?

Uju: When you get married, the attention you once gave your husband becomes divided, especially after the children start coming. Also, everything you worked for will be invested in the life of the children. But, we were able to balance it.

How would you describe your husband?

Uju: He is very outspoken and courageous. He respects everyone, but he is not intimidated by anyone that wants to take advantage of him. He is also cheerful and jovial.

How often do you have misunderstandings?

Obi: The major misunderstanding we ever had was during the first two years of our marraige. She was about 20 or 21 years old and she did not know what marriage entailed and how to manage the bond and information between us. Sometimes, when we had any misunderstanding, she would tell her mum all that transpired and her mum would get angry. But, time, understanding and training changed all that. She had all I wanted in a wife but was rather immature at the time .

Who apologises first when there is a misunderstanding?

Obi: She forgives easily. Whenever we have a misunderstanding and I smile at her, she smiles back and that solves it.

How does your spouse get you angry?

Obi: I do not like it when she wants to argue because she is a lawyer. I told her to drop her wig and gown outside the house while I also drop my stardom. As an actor, you mustn’t become too proud or carried away by stardom simply because beautiful girls ask for your phone numbers when they spot you in public . I could get a bit angry when I am not in a happy mood and she asks for money.

Uju: I get angry when I cook and he does not eat or I ask a question and he does not respond.

Do you have finance-related disagreements?

Obi: No, we do not. I learnt a lot from my father-in-law. He also taught me to save for the rainy days. I am prudent and I learnt to cut my coat according to my cloth.

How do you react when the female fans get close to your husband?

Uju: I just smile. I understand what his job entails and I am one person that will not react publicly when anything happens. He is a public figure and I know the press would capitalise on any incident. I trust my husband too and I know he has to appreciate his fans.

How have you built a successful marriage?

Uju: Success comes from God. Secondly, I understand my husband and I know what he wants by mere looking at him. We have also tolerated our excesses. We are two different personalities and we have been able to live together for almost 15 years. The economy in the country is not favourable to a lot of families and that alone is able to cause divorce, which is on the increase but we have held on to God.

What advice would you give intending couples?

Obi: The advice would start with the parents. When some parents give their daughters out in marriage, they still leave room for them to run back once they have issues with their husbands. It should not be so. Parents should not interfere with their children’s marriage. Intending couples should learn to understand themselves and learn the things they can tolerate from each other.

What pet names do you call each other?

Obi: I call her Mummy when I am happy and I call her Uju when I am angry. She appreciates the name because I am her dad’s namesake and we look alike too. I would have preferred she called me UD, which is what my family calls me.

Uju: I call him Daddy.